My Absence

These past few months have been hard, I haven’t really been able to find a way to speak my thoughts on it in a way that makes sense. And I can only pray this does. This isn’t to say that God doesn’t provide stars on a dark night, but rather that sometimes we are called to trust Him, without those pretty little specks at all.

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So these past two months have been the hardest months for me, for many I can say. Personally, my parents separated, and while I would like to paint this in a positive light, I can’t. I want to use pretty words, to say that it’s mutual, that it’s all going to be okay, that nobody was hurt in the process, but the truth is, it was for the best. It was a long time coming, but in order to reach this point, several people had to be hurt. And things are a little messy, and its hard to see things in a positive light. I want to sit here and write something profound. I want to sit here and write about how, there’s beauty in the darkness, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but to put it simply, this is life, and there is no promise of that. God never promised that life would be easy, in fact, not to be viewed in a negative way, things could continue down this dark path for years without clearance. And sure, it’s a depressing thought, but if nothing else the dark thought has come with a lesson in itself. A lesson less profound but more noteworthy for me to learn. Because no, the darkest nights don’t always have stars visible, but they do have God. And when things get dark, when they get hard and there is struggle and strife, its what you do during them, that makes the pain, the dark path worth it. Not easy, not beautiful and certainly not enjoyable, but worth it.

Because so long as I have conscious I will praise God. I will boast in Him, I will praise His name and honor His glory. Because I don’t know what tomorrow brings, but I do know He’s in charge. And I’d much rather follow Him in the darkest nights, then relish in a few beautiful stars.

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